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Siggy Francis

by Reuben Dettling

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1.
Intro 01:04
2.
Bleak 02:52
when things are looking bleak, i start to think, about all of the love, you invested into me. and it helps. i find light in the eyes of friends. when things aren't looking up, i start to fill my cup. the results aren't pretty, i feel filthy. but i still look, i stick around, because i have to push through. i can't give up now, that's what you taught me. cuz when everything else is wrong, there's still somewhere to belong.
3.
when i think, the pain has stopped, i remember that you are not, you're not here with me it's cold beneath my feet i see the moon, through the fog and i know, i'm not my thoughts we are not our thoughts our thoughts create the pain but still your smell is haunting me i can't seem to accept peace when your hoodie's in my bed
4.
Madrone 01:46
why is it so hard for me to deal, with your transparent judgments and constant pressure? sometimes i just want to explode, leave my blood on the drift wood and your shame follows sometimes i just want to quit, hang myself from the madrone you'll find me in the morning half decomposed, your problems go, right out the window it can be so hard for me to feel, but mostly say that i love and accept myself sometimes i just want to implode, disappear into blackness, clearness follows sometimes i just want to hide, go swimming at high tide you'll never find me i'll just float, your problems go, right out the window
5.
Knee Deep 01:40
when i called you, we talked on the phone i blamed you for things that i had done alone and now i feel it, consequences i deal with i feel it, i see it i told her it wouldn't happen oh so close to home but the fear of fuckin up was deep within my bones and now it's happened, and there is sadness it's happened, actions trapped in i hurt the ones, that i love just like you, i'm just like you makin promises, that we can't keep but still tryin, tho we're knee deep
6.
Shriff 02:10
7.
Spun Out 01:15
spun out of control, i lost a dear friend i can't control what i intake and yet i feel like i can't move i think i may lose, if i don't step up dad i miss you, all of the time i run around distracting my mind but i still feel like i can't move i think i may lose, if i don't step up i hear your voice at night and in the day time dad i miss you dad i miss you
8.
be little with me tonight so i don't, feel alone your smell on my shirt, turns my stomach to stone i don't want to socialize with anyone but you, when i don't have to you're right that i panic when i don't, have a drink in my hand it's something i'm gonna defeat it's part, of my plan just don't push me to socialize with anyone when i, i don't have to i'll skip dinner just to be alone don't tell them where i ran off to i felt like a wounded mess you came down with your talons out to feast on my brain and heart while i, was passin out i took the pill from your hand and kissed you soft and started to float an opiate dream, had me waking up, feelin unclean but i'm still attracted to you and you seem attracted to me but you're in a relationship and i can't tell if this is okay with them
9.
Taurus, Gemini, Aries, Cancer these are signs that i've left behind, earlier on the drive should i turn around? or even make a sound? my tires blew out about a mile ago, i've been ridin on the rims hoping i'd find your sign again but my lights are getting dim my battery is low, windshield covered in snow who has heat? who will tolerate me? who has life? can you spare some tonight? will you find someone new? who better suits you and will i? Venus i thought i'd try you again, but Mars is looking warm I should have steered clear from the start, away from your horns your lungs are turning black, get up off your back but then an hour pass i thought i'd give you a call, and you did not pick up i said i'd stop coming around, what did you put in my cup? you don't love me back, but i keep coming back who has heat? who will balance with me? who has life? is their light shining bright? or are they tamping it down? are their eyes to the ground? or are they looking back into your eyes? with confidence and pride. that's what i want, and it's what we all deserve.
10.
Hebdo 01:40
there is always death and there is life, we see it every day the gunman on the street and children laughing while they play it all comes from somewhere and i think it's deep inside that's why we need to harness the best parts of our lives the other day some people got killed right on my friends street the same day that the world and my family welcomed my niece there's a light side and a dark side, which one will you choose? the path that leads to kindness? or the one where people lose? just show people love. be sure to not judge. or have oppressive views, so they will love you too. keep your mind clear, and your loved ones near, and your spirit strong, so we can fix what's wrong.
11.
who do i call out to? who do i make it out to? will they hear my cries? will they feel the vibes? who do i call out to? mother earth is supposed to be holding me tight father sky is a cold Autumn night who do i make it out to? not to my insides they're thirsty for life i need to look within i'm too familiar with sin i need to look within
12.
Medley 05:20
you don't know me, nor do i it can be so hard to see what's inside of me love people build things and go to school it's a strange world, don't listen to their lies. just listen to your own heart what is instinct anymore? does man just want to fuck? i don't know what i'm here for could drink myself silly and die alone chose your own path, i don't want to abuse what's given to me, live nomadic. // if the planes fly around, late at night in your town, sing with me, sing with me we'll all go slow and alone, if there's no friends there's no home what is friendship anymore? why am i always feeling bored? when i'm stuck inside my box, where is the key to unlock? i know the world might be ending, but i'm on this side of my path. i don't know if it'll work out but i can't give up now, i can't give up now. i won't give up yet. live without regret // fuck pomodoro i hate my job again and when i wake i don't want to get up i'd rather be fucked up so i can go and be alone you look at me, so comfortably i start to think you think that i can't keep up but when i speak i hear silence fuck pomodoro i hate my job again and when i wake i wont eat breakfast, i want to go back to sleep and crawl into her arms again where it is warm, and no one knows i can't keep up i think too much i don't read enough my mind is so cluttered it's hard to sort it out my cats and me don't seem to get along i'm not calm they know what's going on i got them on a whim, i want to go swim out to sea, just you and me, or all alone.

about

Recorded over 2 days at BLDGS in Seattle, WA in the Summer of 2015

Huge thank you to Jay, Jack, Brandt, McKensie, Levi, Ancient Pools, Dunce, and Allen Boothe

credits

released October 16, 2018

Rusty - drums and conga (track 6)
Spencer - guitar
James - bass and vocals
Reuben - guitar and vocals

Engineered by Brandon Hughes at BLDGS
Mixed by Kevin Christopher at Heavy Meadow Olympia and Tyson Griffin in Tacoma
Mastered by Mike Ditrio
Photo recovered by Hannah D

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Reuben Dettling Portland, Oregon

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